Before I had Devon stories about children never really moved me. I’m not emotionally dead I just never related to the parents or the child in question. But now.. Wow thats changed!
When Madeline McCann disappeared in 2007 I would have been 21 and at the height of living life precariously, I can’t say I remember her disappearance or the media frenzy that followed, but then I struggle to remember what I did last week. When I watched the Netflix documentary ‘ The Disappearance of Madeline McCann’ I couldn’t stop thinking of that poor girl and have spent many nights since laying awake feeling sick of the thought of the not knowing what happened. It is definitely having a child of my own that has made me so much more in-tuned with the heart break of her disappearance.
I am a glass half full kind of girl, ever the optimist, but Netflix’s graphic documentary I fear has ruined my life! It has opened a world up that my naive sheltered village up bringing never knew existed. Children stolen and traffic to order was a subject I would never have dreamed of but now it is a reality that is all to real. Its not a few children its hundreds if not thousands. It does not bare thinking about yet that documentary put those thoughts right in the front of my mind.
I do believe that back in 2007 the world seemed a safer place, the way I lived my life was a lot more care free and I was certainly a lot more trusting of the wider world. I do believe the parents were careless in their actions that night but if I didn’t know what I know now would I have done the same? The facts and stories told in the documentary are chilling, I feel nervous leaving Devon in the garden for a spilt second whilst I run to get something from inside and I now watch parents in the park with a different set of emotions than I would have previously as I see the flash of panic sweep over them as they loose sight of their child for a moment.
The documentary makes shocking, heart breaking viewing, Madeline was not the first and she isn’t the last child to disappear, to vanish seemingly off the face of the earth without a trace. Now my heart weeps for the parents of those children who have to survive every day not knowing. I can relate to them and my nightmares are filled with what ifs!
The documentary makes me hold my Little D all the more tighter, makes me wary of strangers and those that make me feel uneasy, it makes me more protective as a parent. It makes my door locking OCD all the more worse and it did effect my choice in deciding where to stay on holiday. It has ruined my life for the fear I now feel as a parent and it has bought the dangers of the world into my reality, but maybe that is a good thing because now I am aware of the horrors that exist and can act accordingly.
My heart goes out to Kate and Gerry and I pray that one day they will have the answers they so desperately need and that if miracles exist they will get to hold their little girl tight again.