Why I Wish I Had Never Watched ‘The Disappearance of Madeline McCann’ on Netflix

Author: Gemma

Before I had Devon stories about children never really moved me. I’m not emotionally dead I just never related to the parents or the child in question. But now.. Wow thats changed!

When Madeline McCann disappeared in 2007 I would have been 21 and at the height of living life precariously, I can’t say I remember her disappearance or the media frenzy that followed, but then I struggle to remember what I did last week. When I watched the Netflix documentary ‘ The Disappearance of Madeline McCann’ I couldn’t stop thinking of that poor girl and have spent many nights since laying awake feeling sick of the thought of the not knowing what happened. It is definitely having a child of my own that has made me so much more in-tuned with the heart break of her disappearance.

we now hold our children a little tighter.
We now hold our children a little tighter – Photo from Unsplash Guillaume de Germain

I am a glass half full kind of girl, ever the optimist, but Netflix’s graphic documentary I fear has ruined my life! It has opened a world up that my naive sheltered village up bringing never knew existed. Children stolen and traffic to order was a subject I would never have dreamed of but now it is a reality that is all to real. Its not a few children its hundreds if not thousands. It does not bare thinking about yet that documentary put those thoughts right in the front of my mind.

I do believe that back in 2007 the world seemed a safer place, the way I lived my life was a lot more care free and I was certainly a lot more trusting of the wider world. I do believe the parents were careless in their actions that night but if I didn’t know what I know now would I have done the same? The facts and stories told in the documentary are chilling, I feel nervous leaving Devon in the garden for a spilt second whilst I run to get something from inside and I now watch parents in the park with a different set of emotions than I would have previously as I see the flash of panic sweep over them as they loose sight of their child for a moment.

the horrors of real life make us hold our babies tighter.
I will hug my little on all the more tighter.

The documentary makes shocking, heart breaking viewing, Madeline was not the first and she isn’t the last child to disappear, to vanish seemingly off the face of the earth without a trace. Now my heart weeps for the parents of those children who have to survive every day not knowing. I can relate to them and my nightmares are filled with what ifs!

Madeline McCann Then and Now

The documentary makes me hold my Little D all the more tighter, makes me wary of strangers and those that make me feel uneasy, it makes me more protective as a parent. It makes my door locking OCD all the more worse and it did effect my choice in deciding where to stay on holiday. It has ruined my life for the fear I now feel as a parent and it has bought the dangers of the world into my reality, but maybe that is a good thing because now I am aware of the horrors that exist and can act accordingly.

My heart goes out to Kate and Gerry and I pray that one day they will have the answers they so desperately need and that if miracles exist they will get to hold their little girl tight again.

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