As a mum of one who struggles running a business, a house and raising a child, I am often in awe of women who have three children. I am never on time and I only have the one child! So I couldn’t wait to send some questions over to Felicity to find out a little more about life with three kids. With beautiful images from Jade Alana Photography this is a blog worthy of a quiet few minutes read…. Over to you Felicity….
My name is Felicity I’m 32 and I have 3 children Summer age 9 , Ethan age 6 and Archie 7 months. Life is busy but I would not wish it any other way. Here is a little insight into my life with 3 children.
Mornings in my household are either where I feel like super mum, everything is done, Kids are dressed, beds are made, house is tidy, healthy breakfast consumed by all, kids hairs brushed and put up , even time to do my own hair and make up and leaving for the school run with time to spare. Alternatively, its mornings where I’m rushing around trying to find clean uniform for the kids, frantically trying to do their hair, find their water bottles to re fill, finding that other shoe that my son has lost and leaving it too late for breakfast that it’s a hot cross bun on the way to school while running so we are not late!
I’m like this with every aspect of my life. I struggle to find the middle ground. Take my house for instance, its either scrubbed to an inch of its life and everything perfectly in place that even Mrs Hinch would be proud of, or it looks like I’ve had a few baby elephants let lose stampeding through on their way back to the zoo! My fridge is either so full it won’t close or pretty much empty apart from a few soggy carrots that have been forgotten about. My washing basket is either empty or brimming and overflowing on the landing.
At the end of the day I’ve come to learn that the kids do not care if the house is messy or tidy, if the ironing pile is empty or full, if their uniform is laid out pressed ready for the day or still in the pile of clean washing on my bedroom floor. Whether it’s a frozen pizza or a nutritious home cooked meal they just need love and me to spend time with them. I’ve learnt to just take the good with the bad and when they wrap their arms around you and say those words ‘ mummy I love you’ you realise its all worth it!
Having 3 kids takes multi-tasking to a whole new level. I mean I never thought I could perfect the art of breastfeeding my baby, listening to my son read, plaiting my daughters hair and dictating a shopping list for my husband to get essentials on his way home from work which we have run out of AGAIN!!
Mum guilt is a real thing and even more so with 3 children. Trying to do homework, read with them, practice spellings, hear about their day and how much they hate the dinner you spent hours preparing for them as their taste buds have changed!!( my son actually said this) all on very little sleep (Thanks Archie!!). Sometimes I feel there just isn’t enough of me to go round and I’m not doing as much as I should. I suffer from having a under active thyroid and it can make my whole body ache on bad days and feel like I’m wading through treacle just trying to walk into the kitchen to get the kids yet another snack or put another wash load on that probably won’t get hung! Then I read their glowing school reports and see their happy smiling faces and the lovely compliments I get from people about how fantastic they are which makes me realise I’m doing a great job and I should be proud of myself. Its just about cutting yourself some slack and being kind to yourself.
My advice is to take time out for yourself. Even if its just a bath on your own, I would lock the door though or you will have one child stripping off and jumping in with you and another using the loo! I like to use a nice face mask, wash my hair and keep topping up the bath with hot water then I come out feeling like a new women whose had a day spa at Champneys!! It’s definitely finding joy out of the small simple things, even popping to do the food shop on your own with no little ones asking a million questions on the way round throwing unnecessary things in the trolley.
Having a supportive hands on husband is a massive help and we are definitely a great team and we love having a busy family life. We enjoy our evenings together and we muck in to get the kids to bed at a decent time. Usually it’s a case of you take the older two and I’ll take the baby and lets go, team Hayes!!!!! First its Supper then teeth, stories, chat about their day, getting them fresh water by their beds, one more kiss, one more hug and a game of rock paper scissors and a secret hand shake ( not sure why we do this but we do it every night!)
Deciding to have my third baby was a long decision and looking back now I wish I had done it sooner. The bond the three of them have is unreal and really special. I knew it would be hard as my two were getting older and more independent so going back to a baby would be a challenge. However, dare I say it, it’s not much different to having two. Going from no children to one is hard but once you have one already what’s another couple!!! I love children and growing up all I ever wanted to be was a mum. I remember going to a fancy dress party age 8 dressed up as a mum!! A quote I love is “Remember when you wanted what you currently have”. So I have to pinch myself sometimes as I’m living my dream.
Having mum friends has helped me, its so nice catching up with like minded mums , we are all in this parenting journey together. Its important especially having a big family to have people you can rely on. My daughter suffers from a rare condition and can often end up in hospital so having that network of support is a life saver even if its just a message to say how are you doing.
One thing that has surprised me having three children is that I’ve still been able to do my hobby, which is making and decorating cakes. Also the fact I’ve gone back to work as a nanny so I have a little boy I look after as well some days. I am surprised at how calm I am third time round I think over the years I’ve learnt to relax more.
I adore my three precious children with all my heart and everything I do is for them. If there was one bit of advice I can give, it’s just enjoy your family and know that they do not stay little for long and be kind to yourself and to try find joy out of each day even if it’s just knowing that you can take a deep breath and start again tomorrow . Ultimately we are all in it together whether you give breast or bottle, dummy or not , own room or bed share, Ipads at 5 am as child wont sleep ( guilty!) or no technology we are all winging it together and should support each other on our crazy, busy but incredible parenting journey.