Thursday marked National Rainbow Baby Day and whilst there are those parents who will never need a special day to remember their children as they feel them in their hearts everyday, there are others who hopefully will never be faced with such pain. We found this beautiful blog by Laura of Five Little Doves and we had to share as it offers a perspective that is very rarely talked about, how parents feel about the passing of their child years after the date. Laura thank you for writing such a beautiful piece.
Last month on Joseph’s 13th birthday I braced myself for the tsunami of grief to wash over me, still wiping me out despite all of these years treading water, still taking my breath away with how much it hurts to wake on my child’s birthday without him. And whilst many were so supportive sending messages of love and support, those little blue hearts flooding my social media, gentle words falling into my inbox, the kindness of strangers never ceasing to amaze me, it still hurt to compare that to his first birthday, his second birthday, even his third, his eighth, his tenth birthday. It still hurt to know that with every passing year his memory ceases to exist in another handful of people, that with every passing year he is lost in the abyss of their long term memories.
And you know what? I get it, I really do. Life is crazy, we are all busy, we are all juggling, we are all just trying to get through the day with our to do list checked off and our sanity intact, and I forget things too, all the time. I forget birthdays and anniversaries, I forget party invitations and lunch dates, I forget what I went upstairs for at least five times a day if we’re being completely honest here. I understand why it’s easy for others to forget why this date is so important to me, to forget that this day is any different from the other 364 days in the year, but what you may not understand, and what I hope you never will, is that this date, and these memories, they are all I have.
Blog taken from Laura at Five Little Doves